A Religious Test

‘The school examinations were held sometime in the spring season, the examiners being the minister of the parish and those of adjacent parishes that belonged to the Auld Kirk of Scotland and were placed within the district of Glenkens. For a time there was great doubt whether I could be present at this examination mainly on account of the want of clothes, those I had being ragged and almost done, with little hope of a new suit.  I was not anxious to be present but rather pleased at the prospect of a day off.  But, alas, the tailor was got, and out of an auld pair of breeks that my father had done with, the skill of Tailor McKay contrived to manufacture a jacket and from some other cast off garments a pair of trousers and a waistcoat and it was decided at last after all that I must go to school among the rest.

Well, the day of the examination came and for the most part of the day I got on famously – no one took any notice of me except the Master – and I knew he dare not thrash me that day.  Towards the close of the day Scripture lessons (called Scripture History) were taken as the last subject, and all but one of the class were excluded the schoolroom till called for, and I , I think, was the last.  Some of the people of the village, mostly mothers of scholars and some from neighbouring farmhouses attended, and were accommodated along the left side of the school.  When I was called I had to run the gauntlet of these visitors among them were some of high degree, and some whose profession was teaching.  Well, my tailor-made suit fitted badly, especially the jacket, and as I passed along the line of visitors clattering in a pair of well-shod clogs, one shoulder and the upper arm were laid bare, and I do admit, even now, that in appearance I was not prepossessing and no doubt my gair was awkward.

Yet I made my way to the Master’s desk and halted at safe distance in front of a great big burly personage, far mair frightened than auld Davie Welsh (the parish minister) from whom every boy in the village fled in terror, they scarcely knew why.  This man had hair gie grizzly and plenty of it standing straight on end, and otherwise he was fearsome to look at.  When he spoke I did not feel any better for I had my courage dashed when I passed Miss…… who said to her neighbour ‘that one will not do much’, and I heard it.  No matter; the dreadful man in front of me told me to stand up and I obeyed. 

Then he said he was going to ask my knowledge of certain things narrated in the Gospel according to St Luke, mentioning the particular chapter. This I understood and the first question was duly answered, and as I was about to proceed with the rest of the chapter in a voice of thunder the examiner cried ‘STOP’ The reader may be quite sure I went no further and I was instantly asked another question.  Truth was I scarcely understood what was wanted, but I commenced at the point where I had been interrupted and went on till I was again ordered to stop, and the following question was answered in the same manner and with the same purpose of giving the remainder of the chapter, and thus have done with.  No such luck. I was roared at.  ‘Stop, stop, boy or you’ll spoil my next question’. 

This part of the examination was finished and I was again put out while Aggie Stewart (of whom it was said they doubted which of us was best) was again examined.  I was duly recalled, examined and again put out, recalled and a third time examined, this time as to what I knew of a certain part of the Acts of the Apostles, and I was quite up to the mark as to what happened on the day of Pentecost anent tongues of fire and such like things. This closed the work of the day for it appeared that Aggie Stewart knew nothing about such wonderful apparitions of flaming tongues and so the award fell to me.

But auld Miss Dempster, who was aunt to Aggie Stewart, said it was not fair that the examination should be taken outside of the recognised Gospel from which preparation for the examination had been made.  Her complaint was considered and without disturbing the decision of the examiners a second prize of greater value than the first was presented to Aggie, and her auld aunt was satisfied.  Singular to say my old Granny was not much elated at my success, but merely remarked ‘might be something in the McKays after all.’